Gazza for England Manager

Mental! I know, but hear me out. I’ve listened to a number of theories as to why England is so poor in this tournament and I don’t believe a single one. The fundamental thing is the players look tense and tired. This pressure is caused by the media’s ‘build them up to knock them down’ ethos (see previous rant). You look at some of the fearless teams (New Zealand being a prime example) and they’ve played well beyond any expectation. Can you imagine how England would play if they were relaxed!

That’s where Gazza comes in. I’m not condoning red bus jaunts with dentist chairs and meat pies. However, Gazza would make training fun. The players may even start enjoying football again. Can you imagine Jimmy 5 bellies as his number 2, brilliant! What better example of getting someone crazy in charge than the Argies. Maradona has already mocked Pele, and Platini, and discussed his young girlfriend. This limelight is probably welcomed by his players as it leaves them to concentrate on the matter at hand (no pun intended). With a controversial manager at the helm, it can help produce a siege mentality which has proven very successful for one Jose ‘special one’ Mourinho.

So if we go out tomorrow the following will happen, Capello will be paid a massive golden handshake and we’ll begin our search for another expensive manager. If the new manager is lucky he will see us exit another major tournament early doors. And the process will start again. Sound familiar? We could save our selfs a fortune by buying some Newcy Brown Ales and giving a call to the Newcastle priory!